Sound of Silence
by EOlivet
Summary: There are a few words Mary has left unsaid. Engagement fluff.


Disclaimer: The characters described herein are the property of Julian Fellowes and ITV. No copyright infringement is intended.

Timeline: Post-Christmas Special. Months later.

A/N: I posted this already on the M/M Monday Madness Livejournal community (and it was generously promoted by Silvestria on Tumblr), but I had a request to post it here as well. Plus, it's the anniversary of my second DA fic, and, well…me and anniversaries…

* * *

A light breeze ruffled her hair as they stood together outside the house. Mere months ago, a fire had burned brightly in the library whose heat now seemed to be reflected in the sun that warmed her back. It was as hot that day as it had been cold that night, and just as before, Mary felt herself melting into Matthew's arms (albeit a bit more literally, given the temperature).

For another fleeting, fantastical moment, she felt his arms move daringly around her waist, and she stepped back into his hold. They'd been able to slip away quietly, just as they had both done that evening – though together now, instead of separately.

There was an urgency to their embrace – both realizing they had only a finite number of minutes before they were missed and someone came looking for them. His hand ghosted from the curve of her shoulder down her arm to her hand, where he entwined it in his. These sorts of intimacies were rather inappropriate out in such a public setting, and she felt a flush rise in her cheeks that was no longer merely from the heat.

As if sensing her thoughts, he then dropped her hand, but a moment later, the fingertips of his other hand were trailing softly across her cheek, almost guiding her to face him. She could feel her eyes fluttering shut at his touch – dimming the glare of the sun behind them.

His breath warmed her cheek…then her mouth….then she felt the gentle brush of his lips against hers. It was quick, too quick when…again she felt it – the slightest touch against her lips, and they parted in kind. Each time, he kissed her he would pull back just a bit – a series of brief, yet discrete affections.

The thin lace of her gloved hand reached up to lightly cup his cheek – holding it for a moment before it dropped back to her side. Once more, he kissed her, and let his fingertips linger against her chin, one finger tracing a path down to her jaw.

"I love you," he whispered – his lips practically moving against her mouth before giving her another soft kiss.

The sides of her mouth seemed to turn up almost involuntarily at the sound (and feel) of his words. "My darling…" she murmured back, feeling the sunlight on her face as she tilted her chin upwards.

"I love you," he breathed softly, followed almost immediately by another kiss – this one slightly longer than the last, but still over far too soon.

"Matthew…" His name fell from her lips as an endearment. "I…"

There was a pause, and his breath now felt lighter against her face – on her cheek more than her lips.

"Mary…" It sounded strangely like encouragement, as he gently nuzzled the side of her face. She knew – of course she knew exactly what he wanted to hear – exactly what she wanted to say and yet…

She opened her eyes, widening the distance between them ever so slightly.

He dipped his head, now placing his lips to the corner of her mouth. "It's alright," he assured her.

"No…" she protested, her eyes once more fluttering shut at the feel of his lips on her skin. Her hand reached up once again to ineffectually brush her fingers over his cheek. "No, it's not, Matthew."

"Darling…" His hand found hers, fingertips curling over as if to hold hers in an embrace. "I know…it's different, and I…I know." The breeze lifted a piece of hair into the wind, and she could feel him tucking it back behind her ear. His touch was so gentle, and she almost leaned into it. "You don't have to say anything…"

Somehow, his words seemed to trigger something within her, and she felt her lips turning up in remembrance. "I've said it before," she admitted, quietly – more to herself than to him.

"Oh?" The admission had clearly sparked his interest. She saw his eyes widen a bit more, even in the bright sunlight – his hold on her hand momentarily tightening into a brief squeeze before relaxing his grip.

Her smile widened, enjoying teasing him as he'd been teasing her for the past several minutes (the past several months, were she to be completely honest). "I have told you. Many times," was her cryptic response.

He paused for a moment, as if working out this information, and she took the opportunity to daringly lean her forehead (consisting mainly of the brim of her hat) against his.

"I see," he replied, his eyes flitting back to hers. "And was I…present for any of these occasions?"

"Oh, Matthew." Finally, she took pity on his expression of utter confusion. "Of course you were. But I…never spoke of it where you could hear me," she finally admitted.

His hand ran down the side of her face, and she saw him blink in the bright sunlight. "I…I never knew."

"Nor were you ever meant to know," she assured him. "I thought…as long as I kept it to myself…I would be alright." That she could continue in silence, she thought to herself. No one – least of all him – would ever have to know.

This confession yielded a brief sigh, followed by an even briefer kiss. "That's all in the past, my love." Gently, he tilted her chin upwards so she was looking into his eyes. "Might I…hear you now?"

She held his gaze, memories swimming in front of her. Every time he'd arrived, and every time he'd left. Every time she went to sleep with his name on her lips in prayer. Every time he went to sleep and she'd sat beside him. It used to echo so loudly in her mind, she thought he'd most certainly awaken from the sound of it.

Until the day it had all stopped being a dream, and became her real life. Somehow, saying it aloud would confirm this was no longer an idle fantasy.

The memories faded back into her consciousness and all she could see was him. She felt his fingers around hers on the hand where she would soon wear his ring. Taking a deep breath, she prepared to quietly shatter her years-old silence.

"I…" she started, before finding his gaze. His eyes shone as brightly as the sunlight, as brightly as her smile, as brightly as their future. Once more, she tried to free the words she'd held onto for as long as she could remember: "I…love you."

As she briefly tasted his trembling kiss, she pondered how this second attempt had proved to be so much more successful than the first. In so very many ways.

The End.


End file.
